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December 24, 2009
→Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait.”
“After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.
As to whether Mr. Jonas’ bride agreed with his “that’s it?” assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, “That’s what she said.”
(via phoenixlily)thismightsuck:crowth:
“That’s what she said.” GAME OVER.
notthatkindagay:daysinboston:dreamsonfire:ewokgia
SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE.
Oh this shall be used in debate.
December 22, 2009
∞December 19, 2009
...The Red Hat
“How does it look?”
In that split second, multitude of thoughts run through my head. But shining through them all is the need to scream out “I think you look beautiful” No matter what you wear, how you think you look, or how vulnerable you are, you’re beautiful.
Why is it that in the moment all I could muster was “Its fine…”
December 14, 2009
...I keep fucking everything up. I feel like a failure. I cant believe I screwed up that badly.
December 13, 2009
...chanukah
is this how you celebrate your holiday, roving in packs throughout the mall causing trouble. jeez….
Christmas gifts
Work depresses me. Finding the perfect gift for someone, but then remember that you have no reason to get them them anything. it bothers me
December 10, 2009
...Yep! that was painful
“The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.”
The motto of the night.
just one more test…
December 9, 2009
∞dating scene at NU. Eerily similar to NS, no?
December 8, 2009
∞
Neither the cooks at Sargent or I can cook without me ending up with oil burns on my arms at the end of a burger/beef cutlets
December 7, 2009
∞
two pos finals down…two more left.
this shit is driving me up a wall
December 6, 2009
∞December 5, 2009
∞
i would adopt this kid
i would kidnap this kid
ffff….this is reminiscent of the picture of myself on my wall.
I got my daily quota of penis today on chatroulette
